Wazhat! Wahzat!

To hit or not to hit!

11 Comments

Ok I apologise before I start, next week I promise to be a bit more upbeat than I have been this week,
 
 
This morning I witnessed an incident that has shaken my spirit. (This is actually the second time something like this has happened and I just needed to vent about it.) I heard from my bathroom this blood-curdling scream, so I rushed outside knowing that something was really wrong. My husband raced out ahead of me. And yelled at someone and the screaming stopped. I didn’t actually see it but the scream was enough. Apparently my husband and the housekeeper witnessed an old man beating the bejesus out of a little boy with his belt in the school yard that is across from our townhouse. 
 
There is nothing I despise more than abuse. I absolutely hate it, it disturbs my spirit.
 
Now those of us who has grown up in the Caribbean are accustomed to the occasional slap or pinch and some of us even have stories of a beating stick or the belt or having to pick out your own switch. My grandmother, God rest her soul, lovely adoring woman used to have my cousin go down stairs, pick a branch from a tree, trim it accordingly and then give it to Grannie who would give her a whipping. I used to feel so bad!
 
And sorry to say it, but sometimes I have been known to give a stinger or two. Two fingers to the wrist- stings. I prefer time-outs.
 
But even though I know it is commonplace and you would find yourself snickering about what Grandma used to do, and the time you deserved your whipping it is still hard to witness it.
 
Now apparently the old man pulled out his belt because the young boy… 12 years old instead of paying the lunch bill at school, had been using the money to gamble at the betting shop down the street. 12 years old and gambling!!! Gee whiz!
 
Now honestly I don’t know what to say to that. Is the man justified in belting the boy or should he have found another way to discipline the boy. I don’t know… all I know is that violence breeds violence.
 
But who knows could his action have stopped the boy from becoming a lowlife gambler? My mother broke a stick on my sister’s back for sneaking out the house to party did that work? NO! my sister is still a party addict 12 years later. But then again my cousin got a whipping for something he had done, which had both him and his dad weeping (My uncle gave the beating) and he turned out great!
 
I still feel sick about it and don’t like it! So what do you think?!
 
 
Hope you all have a great weekend
Keep safe!
 
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Author: kidfriendlyja

Exploring all activities Jamaican that our children would enjoy!

11 thoughts on “To hit or not to hit!

  1. Girl, some kids and grown-ups love abuse! I remember those wonderful days of "abuse" from my parents & relatives.  I didn\’t turn out too bad either.  In my humble opinion, kids need to be disciplined with whippings when necessary, but not to the point that it becomes abusive, and there is a time and place to do it…not in public.  There is a vast difference between discipline/correction & abuse.
     
    P.S.  I am trying to get a mix soca cd…but with more music from Machel though.  The others just don\’t make sense to me, especially Iwer!!!!

  2. I on one hand was never spanked as a child and I turned out fine. I think it depends on the child and what personalty they have. All my mother had to do was give me a look and say no and I would burst into tears. I think by the age of 10 or so grounding them can work or other punishments but by then they may be a bit to old for a spanking. with smaller chuildren, maybe a light swat on the rear end, usually hurts their feelings more than hurts them. That\’s how I was taught anyway… Hope you are doing well!

  3. I saw your comment on Sherry\’s site and thought it would be nice to visit your space and invite you to visit mine.  I will think about your question before I put an answer.  Have a great weekend!

  4. I\’m not against spanking a child once in a while…I\’m a southern girl after all. My mom and dad bent me over their knee several times and I\’m an okay person for it. They never used a belt though…I think that would even leave bruises. I would not agree with that.

  5. I actually have tried removing sugar. He does have some now, but not a lot. We don\’t do soda anymore. I have stopped buying other things as well. The thing is, he doesn\’t need to be calmed. He is already very calm, possibly too calm, and often quite lazy. LOL He doesn\’t have ADHD. He has ADD. He has trouble focusing, but he is not hyperactive.

  6. Well, I\’m back, ready to put a comment.  First, I would like to thank you, so much, for stopping by to visit!  I have read the other comments and agree with them.  There is a time and place for spanking.  Some children are very sensitive and never need one because a stern look or consequence will do.  Other children are more outwardly stubborn and, under the right circumstances, at the right time, a spanking may be the right solution.  What disturbed me about your blog was how the grandfather did it in public and, it seemed, out of anger and frustration instead of true discipline that would teach a lesson to help the child.  There is nothing wrong with being angry at bad behavior but how you deal with it is as important as the bad behavior.  I expect more from the adult.

  7. Wow, I have read all the comments.  Interesting!  Let me say right off that I am not a proponent of abuse. I think it\’s wrong and should never be tolerated. Being from the Caribbean, I know how the lack of finances could be very tough on families but they try their best to make ends meet.  What that child was doing with his grandpa\’s hard earned money was inexcusable! I think grandpa should have taken him home and given him a good spanking there.  However, I want to spend a minute and try to feel what grandpa was feeling at the time he found out what the grandson was doing.  He must have been so angry that he lost it.  It\’s like catching a husband in the act of cheating – you just want to \’kill\’ him right there and then!  Okay, let me get back on track (smile). I don\’t agree with what the grandfather did, but I understand how anger could sometimes drive you to do the unthinkable.  Hope you feel better next week……I did get some vibes yesterday that you were kind of down.

  8. It sounds like the old man just lost it.  I suppose I can understand why, but that doesn\’t make it right.  I got spanked as a child, as often as my parents thought was necessary, which was usually more often than I thought was necessary.  But it was the flat of their hand on my backside.  I have spanked my son, I try to make sure that I am always doing it for discipline, and not anger or frustration.  There have been days when Robert came home from work and I was like "Take him, I can\’t take anymore"  I could not imagine ever taking a belt to him.  (Of course that thought may be a lot more tempting once he is 12!)
    While I think that one of the reasons why kids are so out of control today is because they are not disciplined.  I have had people tell me that their kids have threatened tko call the police and report them for abuse if they don\’t give them what they want!!!!  But to do what the old man did……….Just seems so wrong.  There are better ways of making a point.  A former business associate of Robert\’s had a son come home one night just drunk as a skunk (he was about 14)  He hauled him out of bed very early the next morning and set him to work doing yard work.  All Day.  In the Sun. (with plenty of water)  Poor kid was sick as a dog and never drank again!  To me that was the perfect way to handle it!
    Sorry this is so long
    Siobhan 

  9. Everyone\’s comments were so enlightening and have really made me come to terms with the situation and I also need to thank everyone for the thought that was put into it.
     
    I think we all agreed on these facts – discipline is necessary, but not when done in anger or frustration. Please forget the belt. And if you are going to use it, can we please not pull out the belt in public.
     
    And like you Siobhan, I hope the day never comes when I reach for a belt.
     

  10. How lovely of you to visit and thanks for your comments.  I visited Jamaica on a mission trip, years ago… our church supported one of the churches there, and we were dedicating a new church building.  It fascinated me, one day, to be sitting on the front porch with the pastor and, while looking at the view, see a cow just lazily strolling down the street.  Not long after that, there was a goat doing the same.  It tickled me to the tips of my toes!  Another highlight of the trip was the Jamaican church services…so lively and full of joy!
     
    Our differences are so interesting and a great blessing.  How boring it would be to all be alike and have exactly the same tastes.  I do like dogs, very much, but wouldn\’t have the energy to take care of them the way they deserve.  Thanks for being my friend and giving me the opportunity to get to know you better!
     
     

  11. for your last blog…i feel i too have come close to many people that have lost children lately…it is a horrible thing…and i could never imagine the loss….in fact one ladies story intrigued me so much that i found myself bawling my eyes out at my computer during my lunch…and i have been going back there daily since then…not to mention visiting the other mothers spots that she links to her site…her address i have left in case you are curious…
    http://laurenziebart.spaces.live.com/
     
    as for the child getting beating…that might just be a little to much…i mean i got the belt once…or the wooden spoon a few times…but it\’s really not right…time out\’s are i agree much better…then again if the child doesn\’t listen to anything and you see them going down a horrible and dark path what can you do to make them realize it?? that is without ending up in jail!!

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