I must have been filthy rich in a past life, because I really dislike dealing with money. I just want to have it and then spend it. I dislike discussing how much something is going to cost or how much a service would run over budget. I really also detest discussing salaries and wages. I have found myself giving things away because 1) I don’t want to put a value to it and 2) I get more out of giving it away anyway.
Money complicates things too much, because I may think that I am worth way more than someone has me down at and then you know what I end up feeling rejected and undervalued. To me the worst conversation I could ever be involved in is with someone who is gloating to me about how much they made and how much they spend. ARGGH
But I guess maybe that is my test in this life. Maybe I need to learn to put monetary value to things and learn to budget accordingly. Maybe I was a spendthrift. And I guess it all comes back to something that I believe about myself… I always think that I if I was to win the lotto or something and the pot was huge I would still be back where I started, which is not rich, because I would give it all away to people I think need it more than me.
Ok so can you tell that I have been paying bills all day and have been haggling to get the right prices for things. Woe is me