Forceful, willful, independent.
All words that tumble into my head as I watch the volcano of a tantrum erupt from my little girl. All because of the diaper that her sister is wearing. The diaper, an exact replica of the one that she is in.
I smile as I remember the squeezing of my heart as I lay on that table looking up at the screen. What did the doctor just say? I force the knot stuck in my throat down and asked her to repeat. Two little heartbeats. Two little heartbeats! The noise in my head is deafening. Almost as loud as that time of my son’s diagnosis.
Tears spill out. The great unknown was overwhelming. Was I capable? Did I have the space in my already twice crowded heart for two more? How would the time be split amongst them? Panic reigns within my head.
All these questions still shout loud but start to give way to anticipation, excitement and joy as growth takes place in me. I wait urging them to stay in there for as long as possible.
Then they are laid beside me. Asleep. Tiny little things, much smaller than I have ever dared to hold. As I gaze at their beauty the smaller of the two opens her mouth and wails. Two seconds later so does her sister. And there is that panic again. Forgetting pain and dizzyness I lift one then get the other one as well and find that all those concerns clouding my thoughts have flittered away. All things are possible.
And here I am today laughing at a silly tantrum of which they will be many. Happy in the knowledge that “The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”
Stephen King said, “The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better.”
This week we were asked to write a memoir post inspired by that statement – in 300 words or less.
Not sure if I answered the prompt… but this is what came to mind when I read it. I am finding that I need lessons in grammar and punctuation so feel free to point out where I went wrong with either 😀